Monday, April 6, 2009

my body=public opinion piece *kind of putting it all out there*

I'm TIRED of people lecturing me about my body, ESPECIALLY when they have no clue about my eating habits or exercise habits. if people knew how triggering it was, idk. Maybe it wouldn't happen. But then they'd just be like, 'you starve yourself? I thought only skinny people did that. Good, starve yourself some more till you're skinny, then we'll worry.' I am SO TIRED OF THIS.

Person in question and I were having a conversation, just a regular good old conversation, and I probably slipped in something about weight bias. Since this is apparently on the same level as saying Jesus didn't exist, here came the lecture. 'You're body is a temple!' 'Gluttony is a sin, but believe me, I do it too!' 'Hold yourself to a higher standard!' I told this person I am not a walking cry for help, and to stop treating me like one.

Said person looked kind of stunned for a second. And said no, but went on to say that she's just worried about me, sees me at the coffeehouse and thinks pitying thoughts of me. I told her I don't need her pity. She went on another speil saying that I should think more about how I look and what I eat. She went on to say how bad she feels when she saw me drink 3 cokes in one hour, which I never did. Like, seriously, that's a freaking lot of coke in one sitting. Maybe, over the weekend?

I corrected her, kind of pissed off by now and wondering why I came to talk to her in the first place. The freaking worst part of this is I can't help but think I wouldn't be judged like this so freaking harshly if I weighed xxxxxxx less. Seriously. If I was a normal weighted person, who would give a flying flip? I'm apparently healthy, right?

According to the media. And those numerous studies paid for by diet companies. I hated the fact that she showered me with numerous 'it's because I care' comments, when I KNOW this friendship is fake and phony, and I KNOW she does not care. Ok, maybe she pities because of how unhealthy I look. But since when does she have the right? Seriously, since when?

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

you have such a pretty face. She has such a pretty face. I'm so tired of hearing this. While this is true, it isn't as if you look at Kate Winslet and say, her face is so pretty. No, you'd say She's so pretty. Why then, does Velvet D'amour pose like this:

and the response is - her face is pretty.
I don't know. Yeah, her face is pretty, but look at those thighs. So shapely. And the way the top half of her body looks in that suit - wow.

I'm tired of the demeaning comment 'pretty face.' 'nice eyes.' because there's more to plus size women than their faces and eyes.

it's late. that's all i have. except...

I have noticed that fat people aren't able to eat unhealthfully without scrutiny, but skinny people can.

I eat at wendy's occasionally.


Really? I saw you there last week.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

my own prejiduces

I was riding home in the car yesterday, and I noticed that I could feel my skin folding on my neck, which I sometimes feel, and sometimes don't. I looked in the car mirror and thought, oh no. I have a FAT NECK. I'm one of THOSE people, who have fat necks. After I lamented for a couple of minutes, two things occurred to me. One was that I'm trying to cut bad talk towards my body out of my vocabulary, and thought.

Criticizing my neck for simply being like it is would count as bad talking my body. The other was - those people? Who are 'those people'? And why does having a fat neck make them somehow less desirable as people? The reasons ran through my mind. Obviously they've eaten too much, been lazy. They're ugly. Wow.

None of these reasons were true. Some may have eaten too much. Some may have Cushing's syndrome. Some may simply have bodies that choose to accumulate fat around the neck. But they are people - people who get up every day and think thoughts, have ideas, dreams, heartbreaks, and hopes. I realized there's not really a reason to make judgements on people's character, based on a physical characteristic.

Also, I've heard the term Politically correct being thrown around a lot. It's used on both sides of the Fat debates, I think, because you can't divide this on partisan lines. I know republicans and I know democrats who have the same ideas I do. Here's an article on politcal correctness, however valid, by Wikipedia. Political correctness is always a bad thing. The 'right' idea is always politically incorrect. So, people on both sides of the argument claim to be politically incorrect. I think my side of the debate can't qualify for PC, because it's introducing this idea that's ridiculous to the american mind and dismissed as a crazy attempt to coddle lazy fat people who just need to pick themselves up by their bootstraps and lose that fat, and become members of the Perfect Race. However, the other side of the debate is pretty harsh as well, what with the prejiduce and discrimination against fat people. So, maybe they deserve the label. I don't know.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

findings of late

Haven't updated in a while, sorry about that. I was tired and busy in New Orleans. Although I did find this and, of course, it really got me going because I was like YES! IT FINALLY MADE SENSE. Someone else is on my wavelengths. The scientific community is, actually.

I was on the airplane today, and needed a seat belt extender to fit into my seat. I asked the flight attendant for one, and you could tell the situation made her feel awkward. Still, she wasn't mean. She just walked off, and after the other flight attendant asked me to buckle my seatbelt, I asked her for an extender and she looked exasperated, as if I was asking if I could bring my cat who is hooked up to an oxygen mask on board, and said 'right after I'm done with this demonstration, ok?' I kind of laughed.

Also, as I was going through security my arm accidentally touched the frame and the security guard, who had probably been at this for hours, got exasperated. 'I don't care if you have to go through this sideways: just get through it." I didn't feel like saying, 'excuse me?' so I just got through it and walked on.

Also, I found this and this -two videos on weight bias at home, in school, and in the medical setting, put out by Yale University- it was quite enlightening. It's interesting, the controversy this newfound attitude of mine has caused. Like I'm encouraging people to be fat. And how radical the idea is that dieting is bad for you.

I was reading a blog post about Velvet, a plus-sized model/dancer, by Joy Nash, one of my favorite people in the world. And I stumbled across this interview. In the interview, Velvet said this: "While I have often answered this question, I am admittedly perturbed by it. By virtue of being plus size I am thusly expected to tout my health, yet my smaller counterparts, be it in contemporary dance, or film, or in fashion, are never asked the state of their health.

I do not drink alcohol and I never have, I do not take drugs and I never have, I do not smoke and I never have, yet many of these same counterparts do one, or a combination of all of the above, and yet merely by virtue of weighing less then I, are completely excluded from this patronizing question."'

Ditto. But is merely an example of the attitude held today, that if you are fat, you are automatically unhealthy, lazy, etc, and if you aren't, you are automatically healthy.

That's all for now. This post is a little scatterbrained but there is more to come.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Meme Roth never ceases to amaze me with her fear mongering and intimidation, as well as overexaggerating the obesity crisis. You can usually tell a person isn't entirely credible in their argument when they start talking in the middle of someone else's sentence just so what is true isn't heard.

Two men in Mississippi trying to pass a bill that would make it so that me, and anyone else who is obese can not eat in restaurants. Well, of course, it didn't pass, but wow. Seriously? You're fat, so you don't deserve to eat here.

I agree with one of Meme Roth's points - junk food for kids isn't the way to go. I don't think they should grow up with a fear of processed food (though it wouldn't be horrible if they avoided it) but they should grow up having healthy options and not have junk food marketed to them. Sure. I just think she's wrong about everything else. I don't think the obesity crisis is about the size of your waistline. I think it's about health habits. Being sedentary. Which happens a lot, in both skinny and fat people. Eating junk food also *shocker* happens A LOT in skinny and fat people alike.

I'm tired of fat people just ordering salads, as if we, because of our excess weight, whether we put it on ourselves or not, do not deserve to eat anything with actual caloric value, lest we get fatter.

There's so much ignorance about why people are fat. All people want to fix is the waistline - not the problem behind it.

It's pretty common that if a girl is sexually abused, she'll purposely put on weight and stop taking after her hygiene to become sexually unattractive, so that she doesn't get attacked.

Antidepressants commonly put on weight.

Thyroids do.

Genetics play a huge role.

It's not fair to blame every fat person for not having a body shaped the way someone else's is. Don't cast moral judgement on them, calling them a glutton. Losing weight in itself is a hard process, something a lot of people don't know. Maybe, just maybe, they have more important things to spend their time on than their waistline.

This country - and all western society -- is entirely too obsessed with what our bodies look like. We cannot take them with us, after death. They are but a vapor, only temporary. How much energy are we going to spend?

Oh, and Meme Roth, I'm not in denial. I know that I am fat. My BMI is Morbidly Obese. Morbid. Yeah so I'm fat. I'm a person, as well, though, not just a number on an antiquated scale. And I'm not obsessed with making my body look the same as yours. I've got living to do. I'm hardly the only one.


Monday, February 16, 2009

10 fat-related facts about me

This blog will be updated every possible day, at least once, about fat acceptance topics and sometimes anti-hate rants. These don't always fit in my facebook notes, so I'll just link them here. :)

As an introduction, thought I'd share 10 facts about me.

1. I have stopped using my body weight as an excuse in my life. That means...

now I'm going to start longboarding.
when I can, surfing.
hello, bellybutton ring.
hey, no excuses.
any other type of exercise or fun thing I've been holding myself back from because I'm 'too fat.'

2. I don't agree with the line of thinking that flattering and fashionable clothing for fat people means thinning clothes, because that just means trying to look thinner.

3. I don't agree with weight prejiduce -
if you're fat, that means you don't exercise.
that also means you don't have good hygeine.
you overeat, probably compulsively, probably because of something in your childhood.
you are sedentary
you only eat junkfood
you can't have Anorexia or Bulimia (technically you can't- that's liable to be changed soon.)
your heart health is bad.
you are ugly
you are disgusting
you aren't sexy
you are lazy
you don't have good work ethic.

4. I am more convinced, now more than ever, that humans are like sheep, after watching the dieting industries affect on me, and people I know.
A successfull weight loss from a diet (including Weight Watchers) after 5 years is practically a freak occurance at 1 or 2 percent. 90 percent gain that weight back in the first year (for people who lose 75 pounds or more.)

5. I am somewhat coming to peace with not being thin.
I still don't like it, of course, but I've learned I only get this one body, and this one life, and I don't want to spend it hating it anymore.

6. If you are overweight or obese but exercise 3x a week and eat healthy foods, your heart is technically healthier than someone who is thin and sedentary.

7. I no longer spend money at clothing stores who seem to believe that people size 14 and up don't desire good fashion.

8. To be honest, it's not even worth looking anymore.

9. I've recently learned fat prejiduce is real, and it's the only one people justify by saying it is deserved because of poor health and moral practices.

10. I eat a lot sometimes, and very little sometimes.
Most of the time I eat like most people I know.